To Nest

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I have been back in the hum of things here on the land after a deep hibernation time. The inward and outward dance of spinning with the seasons feels to never end. I went home to visit family and reconnect after my 9 months here in Australia, a time of stillness. It was Winter there but my spirit was still spiralling in the summer air over in Australia.  Mighty Oak trees, Pinon forests, and Yucca elders surrounding me. The smell of the eucalyptus trees and the glimpse of the wattle seed blossoms were engrained in my memory. I was in a constant in-between state. Where was home? At a standstill with my inner rhythm and seeking a deeper connection to community I am eager to root and find my route.

As the moon grew larger our motivation to move into our nest grew fonder. February 11, the full moon rose and we had migrated into our nest tucked beneath the camphor trees. The sounds of the creek as we sleep and the rustling leaves swaying in the wind, I’ve longed to live wild once again. This was a project of love, a cocreation of us all coming together to build our home. 3 months of screws, power tools, sweat, and tears. It does really feel like I gave birth to something and was fully conscious of every step along the way.

The first night we slept wide awake in awe of the orchestra around us. Night creatures out in parade and enjoying the full moon glory. The cicadas hummed and the occasional bats silhouette flew by. Stillness, Illumination, Harmony, Peace. Nature is beautiful and always awaiting us to sit and listen.

The days are growing hotter here in Australia and work around the farm is just beginning. Our Lychee orchard is in full harvest and Eliot has been on the tractor getting ready for our seasons to come! I have only been back a week and life is continuously evolving. My dream to connect with the community and birth my gifts is bubbling deep in my blood.

How do you nest and where might this nest live?

sending love,

Sophie

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Rhythms and Cycles

 

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October 17.

Days keep flying by here on the land. It has been two weeks and I don’t know where the days have gone. I feel my chrysalis cracking open as I’m slowly emerging into a new layer of myself. Mornings are becoming lighter and lighter and I feel myself dancing with my dreams peacefully thru the night. Spring in October, such a foreign feeling.

To begin again, thats where I start. Knowing every moment becomes a memory and teaches my spirit something without even knowing. Freely feeling in my present body, such a gift I am given and blessed since birth. This feeling I had only discovered until now. As I had mistaken this journey as the “waiting game” I am coming to realize my journey is here now, I’m consciously weaving my inner web and expanding the outer. I feel and how grateful I am to feel! The dew beneath my feet and the wind as it sweeps my skin I am alive with sensation. This path that I am paving with so much uncertainty and knowing is what I live for. I dream to inspire and create a tribe with others who are on this journey of self discovery and growth for the whole, using creativity and the divine as our mantras. I dream of the days to come and to continue growing and evolving with love!

Intentions

“FEEL YOURSELF BEING QUIETLY DRAWN BY THE DEEPER PULL OF WHAT YOU TRULY LOVE” -RUMI

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When I am in the state of creating I am in harmony with all. Its as if I don’t pay attention to the time, which is why I am always late, and my brain is constantly visualizing about what is “next”. What I truly love is being in an environment with a heartbeat and a hunger for art, cooking, love, and creating. Visualize yourself getting up in the morning and set an intention, it could be small or a large dream your constantly manifesting. What drives you? Sets your mojo into motion? I am still figuring mine out day by day but ohhhhhh its beautiful to not know your tomorrow and suddenly discover something new your have never tried or seen.

I know for a fact that I will not be living in the city my whole life but will be somewhere nestled in the mountains, deep in a jungle, or floating out at sea! On this beautiful sacred land I will have my many farm animals I dream of, where they can roam free with the sun flowers and buzzing bees. Each day will be an egg hunt as I go out looking for the colorful eggs my hens lay. My art studio will be high up in a tree house where I can look over my space and be in the light to create. Ahh yes and a beautiful geo dome where you can meditate and star gaze at night! This dream of mine pulls me closer to the earth and gets me excited. All these different thoughts have manifested in my mind over the year and am slowly creating a big vision for my future! Crazy as it sounds I want to live simply.

Yes, photography will be my day to day practice, but I am growing a liking for everyday photography. I am definitely not limiting myself, but have fallen more in love with lately the art of telling stories with photographs. Whether its a cold snowy day and your bundled up drinking tea by the fire, or creating a concoction of some beautiful raw tart I envision documenting these little moments with my camera. What next? I have no Idea and I kind of like it that way but am also completely scared.

Travel Travel Travel is on my mind! Its hard to stay in this city for long but I know its good for me right now. Im spreading my tentacles and growing my seeds. 🙂

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What It Feels Like to Be in Front of The Camera as a Photographer

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Never did I think this whole modeling thing would take off and I would be where I am now, in the epicenter of creativity. I have always been a floater, going in with each wave and out with another, just as one opportunity opens I’m off to another continent to explore.

What keeps me sane and grounded they ask? Ahhhh…thats the question I love! Its about finding what drives your imagination wild and continues into your dreams at night, and for me that is my lust for traveling and passion for photography. If I am not creating I feel stagnant and lost, especially in a city like New York where it is easy to swallow you up. What makes you passionate? Now follow that path till eternity and enjoy the bliss!

I chose to give modeling a go because A) Ive never really fully committed myself to it  B) What better way to expose myself to the world of photography and C) TRAVEL!

When I walk on set, I feel as though I’m a hawk watching over every detail that goes on, taking mental notes and picking up on the tips and tricks each photographer does. Its interesting to me to see how each photographer is different and shoots a different way. Today I had a test down in Staten Island with another 19 year old photographer. It was an adventure for me, always with a camera in hand, traveling from place to place with my suitcase. Tests arnt my favorite but I try to make a little story out of it because it usually leads me to beautiful places. Like today, Watching the boats go by on the ferry and examining the harsh lights reflections on the windows of the ferry. Light was abundant today and my camera was quite happy about the amount of times I pressed the button.

I feel as though my brain, when looking into the lens from the models side, is envisioning what the photographer is mentally seeing. Its weird to say but feel as though when having a photographers perspective in front of the lens, I can almost read the photographer behind the lens mind. When I am on set, it is like a classroom for me, It is 4+ hours of technical information to digest. Yes it is mostly updating on the underground music that I’m not aware of, or what new app edits your photo better.

The other day, I was called on set to work with a photographer from Siberia, Russia. It was so interesting to me to see how this photographer in particular communicated on set as well as how he interacted with his camera. We were all lost in translation, but I had so much patience for some reason! I could feel and understand what he was envisioning but it was hard for him to communicate. If I hadn’t been in other situations like this, I would have lost it and felt like he was angry with me, but as two artists I could relate to what he was feeling and for that I am thankful.

Each day is a process but WOW am I learning so much from this journey!

(Below is one of the first photos I had ever taken!)

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Om Namah Shivaya

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I am the divine and that I am. We are all powerful beings and when we become in-tune within ourselves we are at our innermost truth! Shiva, meaning thyself is the source to all life. Once you are able to quite the mind and go within, meditate, you are creating a powerful connection between your breath, mind, and body.

At this moment in time, I have felt the most alone and uncertain. I had made a big decision to not go to a 4 year college and instead ride the wave of life! That being said I have made my way to the most chaotic and energetic city of them all, Manhattan. Yes I did score the most unreal opportunity to work with IMG as a Model as well as pursue my love for photography and that brought on a lot of self discovery.

Leaving my nurtured nest I call home, Santa Barbara, I feel raw and exposed. It felt as if somebody ripped my heart and threw me to the wolves. The day I landed in New York I felt like I had no clue what I was doing and for that I was scared. My monkey mind likes to go on long adventures into the future, which leads to expectations and planning. let me tell you..I am not good at being patient and especially not good at staying in the present. I knew there was a way to cope with feeling homesick and being lost in this city, fully pushed out of my comfort zone which forces me to start planting my seeds and watching them grow. Whether its walking down a different street on my way home, trying a new yoga class, or going around tasting different chai teas in the city, I am making it work. Its all a process and I am learning that, my vision was that I would be working constantly and unable to tune into reality with my emotions. I would wake up early go to castings, do some tests and eventually start getting jobs, but as we all know patience is a virtue and rome wasn’t built in a day. And like I always do, I started falling into the rabbit hole of “what ifs? and “when will I get my next job?”…Its a whirlpool once it starts and its hard to stop the cycle.

Yes as I am writing this bored and sitting at home watching the snow fall from the sky and waiting for what is to come. My dream and vision isn’t to be sitting here in the city working for the rest of my life, but to be in a community surrounded by artists feeding each other with inspiration. I feel what is to come is meant to be and will fuel my creativity. As a photographer, a model, a human, or whatever I call myself, It is amazing to feel the connection within myself and that started from the feeling of being alone but growing from it.

Back to the Om Namah Shivaya, I am finding my true inner self as each day goes by. This mantra was presented to me at a yoga studio I stared going to here in the city, surly enough it was in my dreams because of the amount of times we had to chant it. “Om Namah Shivaya…Om Namah Shivaya…Om Namah Shivaya…Om Namah Shivaya..” over and over and over again until we truly could think of anything else than being in the present. Thats when I felt my inner self, so deeply rooted. Chanting, breath of fire, intentions, healing, this was all so new to me but really helped and still is helping me find my inner self.

This is the foundation of my long journey ahead and it starts by cultivating a strong base within that vibrates out and enlightens your path in the direction you may go. At the times when I feel so alone and uncertain about my career and choice of career, I tune into my spiritual self and discover it is all within. I have found Kundalini here and it is amazing. Its like nothing I have ever tried, yes you sit for an hour breathing into your belly and chanting like a crazy person and no you do not sweat or call this exercising. You exercise your mind and go within. I don’t really smoke and Ive never taken acid but this is the closest I will get. Kundalini is my high, it aligns me and connects my mind with my body.

Writing is my way of processing all the new that comes into my life lately and for those who feel so inclined to following along, I will be checking in and updating my where about for the next few weeks.

ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Sophie

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My Ever Growing Scrapbook

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Photography ignites my fire, uniting all as one and capturing timeless moments. I have a thriving passion to explore new territory and seek the unknown through my lens and other various endeavors. Where to next? Whats my path that lies ahead? I want to inspire those around me and capture the raw life that intertwines with my footsteps. Submersed in the soil of mother nature, I am rooted and growing as a strong individual. The small town I come from is my feeding ground for ideas and inspirations that give me incentives to seek new environment!

~excerpt from my ever growing journal

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