The Seasons Of A Woman

untitled-9

The Maiden is calling…

Come, come she calls, come play with me. With the winds at our backs and the dust at our heels we were off, galloping into the dawn. Like sisters we were entangled in each other’s sense of adventure. She who is the untamed one, chasing after the blue jays and dancing like a wild stallion.. As we trotted past uncharted territory she pulled my hand and encouraged me to dance , to spin, to laugh, to scream, to dream the dreams only the wild ones dare. Leaping up the old pine tree she swings and sings sweet songs…as her bare feet dangled in the wild dandelions below. “Can you smell the scents of spring my sister?” She called… The blossoming, the time of play and fertility, the time when I get to move the way I long to move and play amongst the dandelions. She shot back down and touched the earth, her dress rarer yet she didn’t care…she was off dancing into the dawn, with such innocence, pleasure and joy. She yelled to me in the distance to remember to play wild one play and never forget the maiden in me!

untitled-8.jpg

The Inner Mother Speaks…

As my maiden self grew deep roots into the great mother, her dreams were much farther than what appeared. Young maiden in me, longed to give birth, to nurture something in need. She dreamed of the other and transforming into the mother, but something deep down inside was conceived. 

A long journey ahead, patience and soft acceptance was what the maiden whispered. The world at her young adolescent feet yet she couldn’t help but crave for more. As she longed to set roots and brood amongst her fellow ducklings the great mother grew something far more. The young maiden, as winter grew to spring and summer to fall she lost her way and forgot how it all was. Her fertile self once sowed her seeds, and now granted gifts that forced her to grow. Atlas the mother was born, a rebirth to herself the great mother heard her call and birthed a greater gift. For the mother in me longed to be nurtured, she pulls at my soul and calls me within. Thank you mother, for I now know it all starts from within.

untitled-7.jpg

The Seasons Within Me…

I step into a life led by the depths of my soul. A journey of decent to greet the young maiden in me that had been hurt. There is something to collect, maybe a potent seed to remember, some young intuition to harvest, or a sacred wound to breathe into. To begin this inward quest to meet the innermost depths of my soul calling I call to the mother in me to hold me when I’m hurt, to weave my worries into the safe vessel to protect me. The mother who cares for my tired bones and lets me go into the unknown.


This journey of decent, A knock on the door to awaken my soul, A map only led by intuition. The farther in I go, this face far in the distance appears, she has been waiting and watching my dance across her mural. To my eyes and old wise woman appears, the Maga I am becoming… she tells me of all the seeds she’s harvested, all the potent gifts she’s grown. Young wise one she whispers I gift you such sacred seeds to bring with you on your journey for these will be your tools into the unknown. Through the depths of the darkness I continued in remembering what the mother told me, The gifts that the maga gives and as a firelight staring into the night I continued on.


How vast this quest is but there is a part of me I haven’t met… winter is upon me and I begin to let go, to fall into trust and knowing what is already known. A time of reflection. From the depths of the crone, she appears in sensation and connects the scattered part of myself that I had grown away from. You have become your power young one and follow this journey to connect with soul and be guided by spirit. There is a calling from the depths within and you have the tools to lead you into the unknown.

REmembering & Connecting

Processed with VSCO with m3 preset

Imagine a school of magic weavers. Woman here to weave and reconnect our once tangible lineage. A pod of mermaids that have chosen to heal and feel together on one long riptide. I have found this school of mermaids and have just begun to sink deep into the depths this journey entails. This is called the School Of Shamanic Womancraft.

The School Of Shamanic Womancraft is a four seasons journey of remembering and reconnecting your red and white threads. My red thread, all the woman who have come before me, is powerful and one that I have been feeling for a long time. It is a deeply rooted ancestral remembering that I have just began. This journey is truly about letting go of the “cult” of the expert and reclaiming your own self responsibility. Healing the womb and the womban to come! My teacher, Jane Hardwick Collings is a magic maker and Maga mama who has done her work in order to hold space for us woman in circle.

 

As we enter each ceremony together we are learning and growing the goddess within. Imagine sitting with sisters who are all on this journey together at so many different stages in life, the maidens, the mothers, the magas, the crones. Remembering that at each of these rights of passages in a womans life has so much to learn and grow from!

I have just returned from our opening gathering all together. We entered our red tent to go within and discover the woman mysteries. The weekend was truly magic, we had so many blessings come into our middle realm. We were able to physically and spiritually practice spiritually midwifing each other. One big ceremonial meditation we had was to make a drum. This primitive creation was a medicine to rebirth ourselves.

“I chose you beautiful deer with uncertainty and unknowingness, but you are here to teach me a lesson. As I blessed your bare skin I could feel a sense of remembrance. I have been here before…as your tangled cordage kept wrapping amongst my feet. I was impatient and restless, wanting to be done and completed, ready to be born! I have been here before, forgetting to breath and doubting my outcome. Trust, remembering. May the beat of your drum sing rhythm and prayers back to this beautiful earth!”

On the day of this meditation and birth of my drum I also turned 21.

As 11.40 am came about, the drum started to beat. my heart in sync and my spirit embodied. from metal position I began to feel the time was coming. The sisters began to sing and the drum beat faster. From out of the quite void the sun appeared. As I greeted my birth and began to awaken the sisters held this sacred space and brought me to rebirth. Drum still beating I couldn’t control my energy and began to feel. “Remember your breath” Jane spoke in between the beating. I arrived, 11:40 am November 26 again 21 years later but this time held by mermaid sisters 58 mamas holding me in and remembering my birth.

Now, 21, I am learning to sit with my sensativity and be gentle.

I am so excited to continue sharing and spreading my light to you all throughout my journey this year and this lifetime!

blessed be!

Processed with VSCO with g3 presetProcessed with VSCO with m5 presetunnamed-11

 

Rhythms and Cycles

 

untitled-15

October 17.

Days keep flying by here on the land. It has been two weeks and I don’t know where the days have gone. I feel my chrysalis cracking open as I’m slowly emerging into a new layer of myself. Mornings are becoming lighter and lighter and I feel myself dancing with my dreams peacefully thru the night. Spring in October, such a foreign feeling.

To begin again, thats where I start. Knowing every moment becomes a memory and teaches my spirit something without even knowing. Freely feeling in my present body, such a gift I am given and blessed since birth. This feeling I had only discovered until now. As I had mistaken this journey as the “waiting game” I am coming to realize my journey is here now, I’m consciously weaving my inner web and expanding the outer. I feel and how grateful I am to feel! The dew beneath my feet and the wind as it sweeps my skin I am alive with sensation. This path that I am paving with so much uncertainty and knowing is what I live for. I dream to inspire and create a tribe with others who are on this journey of self discovery and growth for the whole, using creativity and the divine as our mantras. I dream of the days to come and to continue growing and evolving with love!

The Nest

untitled-4untitled-5

Processed with VSCO with g3 preset

Processed with VSCOcam with m5 preset

 

A place to call home. A place you know will always be there. A place that makes your insides sing and lets your body feel comforted by the earth.

I have found this place, set in the hinterlands of byron bay, Brooklet to be exact. 160 acres of unknown and wild paddocks. My love, Eliot, his family, and I have just begun this journey of such a beautiful diverse life on a farm. She came to us, abandoned, wildly overgrown, but glowing with life! A river rushes around almost half of her, leaving little swimming hole gifts as she meanders around native trees.

About 1 year ago was when we had first came to visit the land. Overloaded with uncertainty and excitement at the same time we knew our lives were about to flow to a new heartbeat. I was certain this was the place I wanted to grow on and be with the ones I love, create and play on!  As soon as I knew it, we were packed and headed to Australia. I never imagined, growing up so close with my family that I would be taking on a new adventure across the world with my partners family. Never did I dream to be a farmer and wake up to the rhythm of the land, and now suddenly this seed has been planted and I’m in pursuit of fruiting!

We dream to fill this land with love, make her sustainable, concrete, and build a community with all our loved ones. Our vision is to hold different workshops, gatherings, and implement all our knowledge into creating an organic farm that supports our community around us.

September. 22. 2016

Today we moved to The Nest!

After our 7 months of journeying through our inner bodies we are pure and ready for this day. She is still, but vastly alive, dark and holds the key to inner light. We have landed, thank you. Thank you mother nature, thank you elders of the land and the abundant wildlife. Tis a day of ABUNDANCE, the final eclipse and the equinox! Your here at the most divine timing! Your so daunting and WILD yet I feel so much stability and tranquility from your rhythm, your heartbeat.

How beautiful and astonishing our fist night was. Sharing our first meal together with no utensils sitting in circle on the living room floor. Watching the puppy race in circles Dreaming and scheming ideas and projects to come. A community? a Blacksmith? Wood shop? Art Studio? Only 1 day and we are deep in thoughts. I fell asleep in eliot arms to the smell of the camphor laurel fire we made down by the creek. Thank you fuego abuelita! How sweet her sounds were, welcoming the night animals, as she danced to eliot flute. And now to dream of the days to come!

 

 

What It Feels Like to Be in Front of The Camera as a Photographer

188939_10150125542909530_5048502_n

Never did I think this whole modeling thing would take off and I would be where I am now, in the epicenter of creativity. I have always been a floater, going in with each wave and out with another, just as one opportunity opens I’m off to another continent to explore.

What keeps me sane and grounded they ask? Ahhhh…thats the question I love! Its about finding what drives your imagination wild and continues into your dreams at night, and for me that is my lust for traveling and passion for photography. If I am not creating I feel stagnant and lost, especially in a city like New York where it is easy to swallow you up. What makes you passionate? Now follow that path till eternity and enjoy the bliss!

I chose to give modeling a go because A) Ive never really fully committed myself to it  B) What better way to expose myself to the world of photography and C) TRAVEL!

When I walk on set, I feel as though I’m a hawk watching over every detail that goes on, taking mental notes and picking up on the tips and tricks each photographer does. Its interesting to me to see how each photographer is different and shoots a different way. Today I had a test down in Staten Island with another 19 year old photographer. It was an adventure for me, always with a camera in hand, traveling from place to place with my suitcase. Tests arnt my favorite but I try to make a little story out of it because it usually leads me to beautiful places. Like today, Watching the boats go by on the ferry and examining the harsh lights reflections on the windows of the ferry. Light was abundant today and my camera was quite happy about the amount of times I pressed the button.

I feel as though my brain, when looking into the lens from the models side, is envisioning what the photographer is mentally seeing. Its weird to say but feel as though when having a photographers perspective in front of the lens, I can almost read the photographer behind the lens mind. When I am on set, it is like a classroom for me, It is 4+ hours of technical information to digest. Yes it is mostly updating on the underground music that I’m not aware of, or what new app edits your photo better.

The other day, I was called on set to work with a photographer from Siberia, Russia. It was so interesting to me to see how this photographer in particular communicated on set as well as how he interacted with his camera. We were all lost in translation, but I had so much patience for some reason! I could feel and understand what he was envisioning but it was hard for him to communicate. If I hadn’t been in other situations like this, I would have lost it and felt like he was angry with me, but as two artists I could relate to what he was feeling and for that I am thankful.

Each day is a process but WOW am I learning so much from this journey!

(Below is one of the first photos I had ever taken!)

1011205_10152188152724530_403385849_n

Om Namah Shivaya

Screen Shot 2015-02-07 at 11.31.44 PM

I am the divine and that I am. We are all powerful beings and when we become in-tune within ourselves we are at our innermost truth! Shiva, meaning thyself is the source to all life. Once you are able to quite the mind and go within, meditate, you are creating a powerful connection between your breath, mind, and body.

At this moment in time, I have felt the most alone and uncertain. I had made a big decision to not go to a 4 year college and instead ride the wave of life! That being said I have made my way to the most chaotic and energetic city of them all, Manhattan. Yes I did score the most unreal opportunity to work with IMG as a Model as well as pursue my love for photography and that brought on a lot of self discovery.

Leaving my nurtured nest I call home, Santa Barbara, I feel raw and exposed. It felt as if somebody ripped my heart and threw me to the wolves. The day I landed in New York I felt like I had no clue what I was doing and for that I was scared. My monkey mind likes to go on long adventures into the future, which leads to expectations and planning. let me tell you..I am not good at being patient and especially not good at staying in the present. I knew there was a way to cope with feeling homesick and being lost in this city, fully pushed out of my comfort zone which forces me to start planting my seeds and watching them grow. Whether its walking down a different street on my way home, trying a new yoga class, or going around tasting different chai teas in the city, I am making it work. Its all a process and I am learning that, my vision was that I would be working constantly and unable to tune into reality with my emotions. I would wake up early go to castings, do some tests and eventually start getting jobs, but as we all know patience is a virtue and rome wasn’t built in a day. And like I always do, I started falling into the rabbit hole of “what ifs? and “when will I get my next job?”…Its a whirlpool once it starts and its hard to stop the cycle.

Yes as I am writing this bored and sitting at home watching the snow fall from the sky and waiting for what is to come. My dream and vision isn’t to be sitting here in the city working for the rest of my life, but to be in a community surrounded by artists feeding each other with inspiration. I feel what is to come is meant to be and will fuel my creativity. As a photographer, a model, a human, or whatever I call myself, It is amazing to feel the connection within myself and that started from the feeling of being alone but growing from it.

Back to the Om Namah Shivaya, I am finding my true inner self as each day goes by. This mantra was presented to me at a yoga studio I stared going to here in the city, surly enough it was in my dreams because of the amount of times we had to chant it. “Om Namah Shivaya…Om Namah Shivaya…Om Namah Shivaya…Om Namah Shivaya..” over and over and over again until we truly could think of anything else than being in the present. Thats when I felt my inner self, so deeply rooted. Chanting, breath of fire, intentions, healing, this was all so new to me but really helped and still is helping me find my inner self.

This is the foundation of my long journey ahead and it starts by cultivating a strong base within that vibrates out and enlightens your path in the direction you may go. At the times when I feel so alone and uncertain about my career and choice of career, I tune into my spiritual self and discover it is all within. I have found Kundalini here and it is amazing. Its like nothing I have ever tried, yes you sit for an hour breathing into your belly and chanting like a crazy person and no you do not sweat or call this exercising. You exercise your mind and go within. I don’t really smoke and Ive never taken acid but this is the closest I will get. Kundalini is my high, it aligns me and connects my mind with my body.

Writing is my way of processing all the new that comes into my life lately and for those who feel so inclined to following along, I will be checking in and updating my where about for the next few weeks.

ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Sophie

lifestyle-6untitled-16-2-Edit-Edituntitled-313

My Ever Growing Scrapbook

5Q1A3368-318

Photography ignites my fire, uniting all as one and capturing timeless moments. I have a thriving passion to explore new territory and seek the unknown through my lens and other various endeavors. Where to next? Whats my path that lies ahead? I want to inspire those around me and capture the raw life that intertwines with my footsteps. Submersed in the soil of mother nature, I am rooted and growing as a strong individual. The small town I come from is my feeding ground for ideas and inspirations that give me incentives to seek new environment!

~excerpt from my ever growing journal

5Q1A3369-3195Q1A3370-3205Q1A3373-3235Q1A3374-3245Q1A3375-3255Q1A3376-3265Q1A3377-3275Q1A3378-3285Q1A3379-3295Q1A3380-330